My School's Security Guard

Ok, so this prick is hated throughout the student body. If you, for example, go out to smoke a cigarette, and don't take your Student ID with you, he'll refuse to let you back in the school, even though you just walked by him less than 2 minutes ago. He will also question as to whether or not you're even a student.

Now, I have two student IDs because I thought I had lost my original at one point. So the other night, without realizing it, I grabbed my old ID out of my bag before I went to smoke a cigarette. When I came back in, I scanned my ID. This PIECE OF SHIT stopped me, said I'm not allowed entry, and asked if I was even a student. My response? WHY THE FUCK WOULD I BE WALKING INTO THE FUCKING ART INSTITUTE OF PHILADELPHIA AT 8:30 AT NIGHT IF I WASN'T A STUDENT? And I walked right by him. Lazy fuck didn't even get up. This asshole is a complete waste of an hourly rate.

I really hope before I graduate I have a chance to kick this jerk off in the balls.

Jerk Off Awards: Biggest Jerk Off in Philadelphia

Ok, so after years and years of observing the many assholes that live in our fair city, I have come to the conclusion that one group of jerk offs stand out above the rest. This group ruins thousands of people's days on a daily basis, and are just basically mosquitoes - they serve NO purpose, they're annoying, and they leave you with a bite that you have to scratch constantly.

This month's Biggest Jerk Off Award goes to the ever so popular Philadelphia Parking Authority.

P.S. - I really, truly, hate anyone who works for the PPA and hope one day you get hit by a car, get paper cuts from your parking tickets, and get attacked by someone you boot. Get a job that doesn't consist of simply completely ruining people's days because their meter ran out 30 seconds ago.

Jay Leno

I hope everyone is boycotting this asshole.

Our Twitter

For some reason, the jerk offs at Google decided not to make it easy to just put a link off to the side. I'm sure I'll figure it out later, but for now, http://twitter.com/HeyJerkOff

Welcome to Hey Jerk Off

Welcome to Hey Jerkoff, a blog created to give honor and call out all the assholes, sluts, bitches, fuckheads, etc that we encounter on a daily basis.

For far too long these pieces of shit have ruined our days, annoyed us, bumped into us, smelled bad, and have done things that just make you want to punch them in the face.

Here, you will find stories about these awesome members of society, and what evil things we wish will happen to them. We will include pictures, warnings, and locations, so hopefully a reader will spit in your face upon seeing you.

So all Jerk Offs, beware. We will put you on blast. You have been warned.

Love,

Hey Jerkoff MGMT